Whenever I go on a walk outside at night and have some quality time alone with my thoughts, I end up thinking about seemingly random things. Today, the topic was dismissiveness.
I often feel dismissed by other people. One way this dismissiveness comes into play is when I talk about my problems. When I feel inadequate or lonely, people tend to dismiss these problems by saying that I’m good the way I am and that they are there for me. This response seems natural and feels like the correct thing to say, but at the same time it dismisses my feelings completely. It gets frustrating when you struggle to talk about problems in general, and the one time you finally have enough courage to speak up, the other person immediately shuts you up, as if they don’t want to deal with you.
I feel like this dismissiveness from other people just comes with the way I am. I neither look nor act like someone that needs help and as a result people think that I am a very independent person. That’s also probably the #1 thing my supervisor at works always says to me. And while I do believe that independence is one of my core strengths, it also leads to people dismissing me. Someone who looks independent probably doesn’t need any help, right?
There is also the thing with age, where everyone tells you that you are still so young and that there is enough time for whatever it is you are struggling with. Somehow, they completely miss the point about the problem and think it will fix itself over time.
To be honest, now after I wrote all this down, none of this makes any sense to me 🥴 Somehow, all these things seem connected and yet somehow they don’t. I guess I am too tired to get this thought somehwere.
We should all probably try to understand other people, instead of dismissing them.
And with these words, good night 😴
Ash