Today was a slow day. I barely did anything for my thesis, did some knitting and went grocery shopping.
At around 8pm I was done with knitting and started a stream without anything to do for myself. I don’t really know what it was, but somehow I was dreading the next two or three hours before going to sleep. This feeling of sadness crept up in my body feeling like none of things I am doing really matter in the bigger picture — kinda like an existential crisis.
In these moments I always feel lonely and I feel like I need more social contacts, people I can talk or hang out with outside of my usual friend circle. Currently, I completely miss this part of life. Then again, I don’t know if that would have changed the feeling I had. Maybe I just want to distract me from myself with other people.
I don’t really know.
Ash