I kinda realized that I have commitment issues. I just wonder where this comes from 👀
Anyway, I don’t mean the relationship kind, although, probably a little there too. But I have this commitment issue more severe for the things I do as hobbies and for lifestyle choices. I love to try new things, but I very rarely stick to anything: knitting? Hell yeah, but only whenever I feel like it. Music? I love it, but I take several months of breaks in between productive time spans. Running? I feel great afterwards and I want to run a marathon in the near future, but getting up and going for a run seems impossible. Minimalism? Great lifestyle, I love pretty much anything about it, but still I don’t feel like committing to it.
I was just asking myself if I actually don’t 100% want to do these things / associate with these lifestyles or if I just fear to commit to something and then failing the hurdles when they inevitably come at some point and being disappointed about myself. I think that you have to commit to something fully, at least for an extended period of time, to make true progress. I have heard from countless of the musicians I listen to how they practiced their instrument for 8 hours a day at some point and how they just wanted to get better and better. I have not felt about something like this for a long time, but I feel the urge to just do it.
However, I don’t know what I would want to commit to. I’ll try to figure something out in the next few days and until Sunday, at my weekly recap, I will decide on something. I don’t have 8 hours a day free anymore and probably won’t for a long time, but I want to commit 2 hours of my day to something. I want to truly give something a chance and if I don’t like it and I realize I’m not that passionate about it, then that’s okay. And if I like it, well then I have found one of my hidden passions in life. The chance alone of finding a passion makes me excited to actually commit to something. And if I don’t find anything, well at least then I’m very good at a lot of things 😬
I’m excited to see, where this newfound motivation will lead me 😁
Ash