Today I went back home after staying with a friend for an extended weekend.
After visiting or meeting with friends, especially when I’m having a lot of fun, I feel very drowned and sad after leaving. My mind is filled with fear that the fun I just had is not just over for today, but maybe also forever. Instead of being happy about the good times I just had, I get anxious the moment I get to be alone and I feel empty. Maybe that’s also a reason why I never wanna leave and am always one of the last people to leave a party or any other social gathering.
Anyway, today, when I left the train back in my home town and went on my way towards the subway, I felt relaxed. Maybe even a little excited about some of the things I could do at home. I’m not sure where this sudden change of perspective in my mind came from, but I felt great about not feeling like shit after having a fun time with a friend. I’m sure this is not a permanent thing and I will have to work on this to make it the norm rather than a exception, but I feel like I’m on a good way to achieve this at some point in the near future.
Ash