Some weeks ago I lost my earphones, while drunk in the park with a friend… ah yes, good times 😁
Anyway, in the past, when my earphones didn’t work anymore or I lost them, I got a new pair almost immediately afterwards. Somehow, the thought of not being able to listen to music anywhere felt really daunting to me. When I lost my earphone this time, I had the same feeling on the way home. Now I had to endure the train ride and afterwards the walk home from the station without music — without a way to disconnect from the world.
I tend to try to escape from the world whenever I get the chance to do so. The problem is that when I escape from the world, I escape into my head and that’s usually not a good place to stay in; or would you want to stay in the same room as that screeching kid called Anxiety?
I’m not saying that disconnecting from the world for a second is a bad thing; sometimes you just need this mental distance to the world. However, I think doing this compulsively, whenever I get the chance to do so, is harmful for my own mental health. I don’t want Disconnection to be the default state of my mind, I’d rather have it as a tool I could use, whenever I actually need it.
Today, I went out with some friends. The weather was good so I took my cruiserboard and rode there. By the time we parted ways, it was already like midnight. So I rode home on my board in the middle of the night. The streets were quite and I heard the noise of my wheels rolling, the voices of the people sitting outside of bars and drinking, and the occasional car passing by. It felt strangely soothing; somehow, I felt like I was part of this world. I don’t think I would have felt the same, if I listened to music on the way home.
Also, it’s not like I don’t listen to music anymore. I still have music blaring at home at any moment in the day. I also have over-ear headphones that I use for work and if I want to take a walk and actually want to disconnect and be buried in my thoughts. Now, I just don’t have the opportunity to do so in every waking moment of my life.
And I like that 😁
Ash